My Spiritual Journey, Part 2 - Doug Baumoel

 A few years ago, I spoke to you about the spiritual journey which led me to this church.  I talked about growing up Jewish, attending Hebrew school, being Bar Mitzvah, and keeping some of the more convenient and family-fun traditions.  Then I got married to Victoria who was raised Episcopalian, we had kids and went church shopping.  We stumbled upon the UU Pamphlet in the pews during a first-night jazz concert in 2001 and we ended up here.  While that may be the story of how we got here, it doesn’t say much about my real spiritual journey.  So, today I’m going to talk about God. 

When I was about 11 years old, I remember going downstairs from my bedroom, reluctantly on my way to Hebrew school on a Saturday morning, and my dad was at the bottom of the stairs I asked him ‘Is there really a god?’  He told me that it’s up to me to decide for myself – but added – ‘….but, as a man of science, I believe that god is simply a fabrication for the benefit of weak minds.’  So much for deciding for myself!  So, my Jewish ‘religion’ ended up being a godless one.  One about tradition, obligation, the holocaust, and some misguided sense of ethnocentric pride.  After all, how could an intelligent, educated person like Me find god in stories about miracles which defy the laws of physics? 

Judaism didn’t encourage me to look beyond historical writing and tradition.  But during college, the desire to find greater spiritual meaning, as well as a desire to meet girls, led me to flirt with other religions.  I dabbled with Bahai, EST and Jews for Jesus; back and forth between nothing and Judaism.  That continued till I read the UU Pamphlet I mentioned.  This was the only religious philosophy I encountered which wasn’t trying to make me believe something fantastic as the basis for participating.  I liked that.  I liked that UUism encouraged each individual to search for their own understanding of god. 

After a few years of UUism, I had dinner with my dad.  He had heard that we joined this ‘church’ and he was quite upset.  He said – ‘so I heard you belong to a church now and are no longer a Jew.  How can you turn your back on your people like that?’  I told him how I still identify as a Jew, and my kids are being raised to know and appreciate their Jewish heritage, but I practice Unitarianism.  We had a lively discussion about it.  I reminded him of his answer to me 40 years prior – about god.  I told him that practicing UUism freed me from looking for god in all the wrong places – in ancient texts, odd traditions, miracles and genetic heritage.  It led me to appreciating god through rational thought, coupled with a new sense of connectedness which I hadn’t found in the more insular world of Judaism. 

I then asked him if he believed in Gravity.  We can’t see it, we can’t take a picture of it.  Scientists suspect that there are things called gravitons but don’t know if they are particles or waves or strings – they haven’t found them yet.  So, science actually sets the precedent for believing in the unknown.  I know gravity exists because I feel it when I do things.  Similarly, I know that god exists when I look into my children’s eyes, when I stand in the full bloom of our gardens in the summer, when I hear truly inspired music, and when I experience the sense of community in this place.  I can’t explain it, or dissect it, and I’ll never truly understand either god or gravity to my satisfaction, but that doesn’t keep me from experiencing either.  Moreover, my belief in them doesn’t seem to have any influence on either of them anyway.   But it is my belief in them that helps me make more sense out of the world and make better decisions. 

I don’t think I convinced my father, but it helped me clarify my thoughts about god.

Thank you for allowing me to share these thoughts with you.